I'm all toasty inside. And I'm leaking.

Christmas.  I loves it I tells 'ya.

I didn't always... I mean, I did, then I didn't now I do again.

For a few years there I found Christmas to be tacky and overbearing and busy busy busy.

I think it had something to do with my Mum dying several years ago.  How could it be Christmas without Mum?  She was the driving force behind it all.  She was the tree decorator, and the fudge maker, and the carol singer.  I guess I became a bit of a Grinch for a while.

This year I'm watching my boys and I've realised THIS is what it's all about.  Finally, I don't care if I receive a single present.  It's not about me, it's about them, and as long as I can pass on the love and joy and magic of Christmas... just like my Mum did... then I'll be happy.  And THAT my friend, is the Christmas Spirit.  To me, anyway.

Don't get me wrong.  I still can't listen to Silver Bells by Bing Crosby without tearing up.  It isn't an "easy" time of year, but I can't wait for Christmas Eve to come around.  To read The Night Before Christmas to my boys, tuck them into bed and remind them to fall fast asleep.  Then to share Christmas morning with them and see their faces light up.

Remember that feeling when you were a child?  A little big of magic had visited you in the night!!! The most famous man in the whole wide world had actually come into your bedroom and left you a present.  THE Santa Claus.  Wow.  For the next few years these two precious boys will believe in magic and this one night of the year is proof that it exists.

I'm sorry I haven't written and visited you for a while.  Running a small business is hard, but that too, is magic for me.  Knowing that I'm sending gorgeous presents to wonderful people puts a smile on my face.  Hopefully I'll be able to share more with you in 2012.

But for now, I'm going to watch The Grinch with my two boys, my niece, my sister and my Dad.  Yes, I'll tear up but I'll smile more because I'm so going to relate.  I think my heart has grown two sizes this year.

Merry Christmas and have a safe and happy holiday
xoxo